


Let’s Eat! But Not the Mugger!

by ForgottenChesire



Series: Christmas '19 [10]
Category: Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Venom (Movie 2018)
Genre: Gen, Humor, Venom makes a friend, lots of banter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-08
Updated: 2020-06-08
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:27:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24610771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ForgottenChesire/pseuds/ForgottenChesire
Summary: Inside the cocoon that is Venom’s inky black form, Eddie has accepted his fate of spitting out teeth that aren’t his. Which is, of course, when a red and blue blur swings down from a building stealing away Venom’s meal.“Sorry, but this kitchen is closed! No eating here tonight.”Eddie… Eddie he looks like us.Yeah he does.“But he is a bad guy! We are hungry and bad guy is on the menu.”
Relationships: Eddie Brock & Peter Parker & Venom Symbiote
Series: Christmas '19 [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1603357
Comments: 41
Kudos: 278





	Let’s Eat! But Not the Mugger!

**Author's Note:**

> This is a very, very, very late Christmas present and I hope it is worth the wait!~

There was a time, before Symbiotes and evil billionaires, that Eddie Brock considered New York home. He knew the streets of NYC better than the back of his hand. Knew which bum or panhandler would be willing to give out information for the right price and which ones would knife you in the back. He’s been gone for a while and his instincts must have rusted in the sea breeze. Or he’s gotten too used to Venom’s senses being able to warn him about dangers he couldn’t see. Those are his two theories on how he’s gotten into this predicament.

_This_ being a man with a gun pulling him into an alley and jabbing said gun into his side. All Eddie wanted was a quarter pounder and, if there is a god in this world, a chocolate shake from the same place. He scowls.

**_“It’s not our fault, Eddie,”_ ** Venom grumbles, voice too quiet for the would be mugger to hear, **_“New York smells worse than home. Too many new smells.”_ **

And if the mugger does hear Venom speaking out loud Eddie can blame it on a Bluetooth headset. He just wanted a burger. Not an expensive one that he could actually afford thanks to the amount that Tony Stark is paying him for this interview. Just a greasy, shitty, burger that would hopefully keep Venom from-

**_Hungry, Eddie. Can we eat him?_ **

From saying that. Thank god that was said internally. There are too many vigilantes and heroes in New York to be eating people. Or talking about it.

“No.”

He does not mean to say that out loud. The mugger jabs him harder. His hands are shaking and there is a very high chance of that gun being fired even if Eddie gave him the keys to governors home.

“This ain’t a yes or no type situation, man. Just give me your money,” the mugger says shortly.

**_“Eddie-“_ **

The reporter looks up to the heavens for patience. For wisdom. For a hole to open up and swallow him whole like Venom wants to do with this mugger. The Symbiote’s patience is always near nonexistent when hungry.

“I’ll shoot you! I swear I will!”

Venom growls. Loud enough that a cat in the alley hisses before running off.

“I-“

The echoing _bang_ of the gun going off isn’t unexpected. Nor is Venom’s anger that the human just tried to hurt his host.

**_“Now, we will eat you.”_ **

Inside the cocoon that is Venom’s inky black form, Eddie has accepted his fate of spitting out teeth that aren’t his. Which is, of course, when a red and blue blur swings down from a building stealing away Venom’s meal.

“Sorry, but this kitchen is closed! No eating here tonight.”

**_Eddie… Eddie he looks like us._ **

_Yeah he does._

**_“But he is a bad guy! We are hungry and bad guy is on the menu.”_ **

_I told you V, New York is different._

The red and blue… Eddie squints, or what he thinks is squints. It’s hard to tell what he’s actually doing and what _they_ are doing. The vigilante is short, far too fucking thin and his voice is young sounding.

He’s moving his hands is an ‘x’ motion that would make Anne proud.

“Not on this menu! If you’re hungry I know a good chimichanga place, Mister Gooey Guy.”

**_He is small and cute. Unlike you._ **

_Thanks V._

**_You are welcome, Eddie… can we keep him?_ **

The vigilante is still talking, body prepared to flee. There are webs encasing the mugger and Venom has already decided that he doesn’t want to eat him anymore. He’s curious about the puny red and blue him.

**_“Chimichangas?”_ **

“Oh man, you haven’t eaten until you’ve had one of Anton’s chimi’s. If you promise to like not eat anyone, I’ll take you there.”

**_“We promise not to eat anyone in New York.”_ **

It’s an easy-to-spot evasion. The vigilante tilts his head like a puppy.

“I’m Spider-Man, and I’m holding you to that. I’d rather you not eat anyone ever but hey, maybe the chimichangas will convert you.”

_He’s very polite. Unlike you._

**_Pussy_ **.

**_“We are Venom.”_ **

They shake hands and Spider-Man gains a notch of respect when he doesn’t flinch when Venom grips his hand.

The walk to Anton’s place; simply named after the chef, is quick. A little too high what with Spider-Man and Venom having a fucking unvoiced parkour contest that has Eddie’s stomach rolling. Too high. Too fucking high.

**_Pussy_ **.

_Parasite_.

Venom goes up even higher, gleeful in the internal spasming that it produces. The silent ‘uncle’ of it all. And then they are there. Anton’s is a small restaurant with brightly lit windows and heavenly smells wafting out.

“Come on, Anton won’t mind you being you. He’s chill.”

Anton is an older man with a kind smile but sharp eyes.

“Spider-Man, welcome!”

The few patrons of Anton’s don’t look up from their food as Spider-Man heads toward the counter, mask pulled up just enough to show off his lips.

“Buenos tardes, Anton. Can I get what me and Deadpool usually order?”

Anton looks glances over Spider-Man’s shoulder, taking in Venom. For a moment Eddie is sure that the man can see _him_.

“New amigo, eh? Big appetite?”

“They’re hungry enough to eat a horse.”

Close and… conversationally correct. Eddie doesn’t care how ‘chill’ Anton is, hearing that someone is hungry enough to eat a mugger doesn’t play well. Unless you are Mrs. Chen and then she offers Eddie chocolate to get the taste out of his mouth. God, Eddie loves Mrs. Chen.

Somehow Eddie misses how much the food is and how he’s led to a booth. It’s slightly awkward, sitting in silence and Eddie can practically feel Venom gearing up to call him names.

_Some people would call that abuse._

**_You call me parasite, it’s fair._ **

Oh, the field day therapists would have with them.

“So why are you in New York?”

**_“We are here on business.”_ **

“Hopefully not the man eating kind. Cause then… well I wouldn’t feel bad but that would suck.

**_“That is a hobby.”_ **

The kid snorts like Venom told a joke. If the kid spends more time with them he will learn. But Eddie and Venom both are not planning on staying long enough for anyone to figure him out. Get in, interview the hopefully-not-psychotic billionaire for his job (and to stop Miss Potts from Facetiming while looking remarkably like a very tired Anne) and go _home_. He has got to stop giving in to sad faces, even if it typically leads to good things... Like Venom. Spider-Man talks, and talks, and talks with the enthusiasm of someone young.

The chimichangas, and the tacos and the rolled tacos and jesus fuck this is a lot of food, when it comes is as good as Spider-Man says. The meat is tender and perfectly seasoned. Not bad for a New York place. But seriously, so much food.

**_"You order this normally?"_ **

"Yeah, I uh... need a lot of food and Deadpool is like... creepy nice about making sure I eat. Like he flirts a lot and feeds me and doesn't 'unalive' people when he's with me so it's all good."

**_"Unalive?"_ **

"Kill them. So we can be like that too, only I'll feed you instead of me being fed!"

**_We are keeping him. He is coming home with us. I like this human._ **

_I thought you liked me._

**_Eddie, Anne says we can like more than one human at a time. It's called friends. Dan says friendship is healthier than eating our feelings._ **

_You need to quit hanging out with Dan._

**_Never. We like Dan too._ **

_I don’t think Anne would approve of us kidnapping the kid._ He isn’t changing the subject. He’s _not._

**_Pussy_ **.

“So, I’ve been meaning to ask,” Spider-Man starts, pausing briefly to take a bite out of what has to be the sixth taco, “how did you make your suit? Is it hand stitched? Or did someone else make it?”

Venom tilts his head.

**_“Suit?”_ **

Spider-Man gestures at the entirety of Venom. The eyes on _his_ suit seem wider, which causes Eddie to snort.

“Your suit. Like, is there padding to make you look buffer? Cause there is no way that is natural. Like not even _Captain America_ is that buff. And how the hell did you get the jaw on the suit to work? The fake tongue is long, how does it fit? Or are those trade secrets?”

_Say trade secrets_ , Eddie urges even as Venom speaks.

**_“No suit.”_ **

_You’re kinda my suit, which is why I said trade secrets._

“No way!”

It’s not quite a gleeful shriek but it’s close to it and Venom flinches back slightly.

“Sorry. What do you mean, no suit?”

Like an eager puppy Spider-Man leans over the food toward Venom who lifts a hand. He retracts a bit of himself, showing off Eddie’s hand.

**_“We are one. But Venom is stronger so he does the heavy lifting.”_ **

_Unless Anne needs the couch moved and then you stay tucked under my heart._

“Wait… what?”

_You’re going to get us kidnapped and experimented on._

**_Will not. Little Red is good._ **

**_“We are Venom but Venom is not alone.”_ **

“So cool!”

Venom preens at that.

“So are you an alien? Is that why you’ve never had a chimichanga? What’s your favorite food?”

Eddie doesn’t groan. He does sardonically drawl out a _Brains_ thinking of all the times Venom went straight for the head.

**_“Chocolate. All chocolate even white.”_ **

_You do this to be contrary, don’t you? Will basically confirm you’re an alien but won’t say you like eating brains?_ He says this with more fondness than on probably should when discussing what they are.

**_We would never, Eddie. Plus we don’t want to get you experimented on. You don’t do well in labs._ **

_Fuck you._

Spider-Man, blissfully unaware of the internal banter, continues to talk and ask questions. For the most part, Eddie listens with half an ear. He’s content that Venom is happy and able to handle this without him. Leaving him to drift.

“If you stay in New York longer, I know this really cool sweet shop that makes like _everything_. And they love challenges. Once I asked for a spicy sweet thing and they made me a flaming hot cupcake! It was great.”

Spider-Man is standing, the food is all gone and Venom is at a loss.

_Dan has that medical conference next month. And we will be here for two days after the interview._

It’s a bad idea. But Eddie has a… habit of spoiling Venom. Plus Venom does need more than… three people and the damn cat who like him.

**_“We can meet here? Day after tomorrow?”_ **

“Definitely!”

Spider-Man swings away with a jaunty wave. Once the kid, and Eddie is very sure that Spider-Man is more like Spider-Just-Turned-Nineteen, is out of view Venom walks into one of the alleys so that they can shrink back down. The floating head shape that Venom prefers rests against Eddie’s neck.

**_“Anne would like him.”_ **

She would indeed. Eddie starts walking, hoping he’s going the right way. With as much food as they have eaten he’s heading for a food coma.

**“Dan too.”**

The reporter says a small prayer that no other mugger tries his luck.

**_“And Mrs. Chen!”_ **

“For the last time, V, we are not kidnapping Spider-Man.”

Venom retreats all the way into Eddie.

**_Spoilsport_ **.

Their hotel comes into view. And as the elevator goes up to their floor Eddie smiles. If Tony is a decent guy and not evil like Carlton, if they avoid being kidnapped themselves and shoved into a lab, this is going to be an awesome story to tell Anne and Dan.

**Author's Note:**

> This story is part of the [LLF Comment Project](https://longlivefeedback.tumblr.com/llfcommentproject), which was created to improve communication between readers and authors. This author invites and appreciates feedback, including:  
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